feeling exausted

Today I am feeling very tired. Yesterday was a rough day. Talked to my dad and mom had a seizure tuesday and was not speeking well at all wednesday. She went to her p/t yesterday and was better. They changed her meds. They had her see the dr and they did a mri wich was not good. She has some swelling around the tummer. Dad seemed like what they saw was not good news. I think we are hoping that she can make it threw the holidays. After all she's been threw with the radiation I dont think it did much. She is very week and very tired. It just breaks my heart. I was very upset most of the day yesterday. We are looking to buy a van (with dads help) so we can get out of our truck payment. If dad can help us get the van we wont have to worry about a car payment. That will help us out alot. We need to get a bigger house. So that will help. I am just very tired didn't sleep well thought about the van and mom alot. Going to rest and try to get rid of this headache. Joe said he has seen me go threw enoughthis past 2 years. I agree. Thanks for those wo are listening. I will try to come here every day to help relieve stress. I need to get it all off my chest.

Trying this out!

Thought I would try this out. Lets see how many people pay attention to me here. I don't get good responses to share or myspace. Much better in myspace I have to add. I can put more here and use this for a venting machine. I will try to use this as a daily blog. Just still trying to figure out how I am "really" dealing with my moms illness. With the holidays coming and Charlie's 2nd year Angel Birthday coming Its going to be a hard year. Sometimes I just want to scream in my head. I find myself yelling at the kids and being very moody at Joe. I think its all taking a toll on me. I hope this will be helpful.